out of all the yaars, I’ve encountered, you have been kindest to me and saw me for me..

yaar - hindi word for ‘dude,’ used to refer to acquaintances casually

Where’s the party yaar? 

What’s up yaar?

- Urban Dictionary, the most reliable source known to man

I speak to all the dudes and dudettes who’ve given me access to a world only you and I can see. Your vulnerability only ignited the desire to relinquish my own, and yet, I still feel troubled to do so. 

To all the yaars who’ve stayed consistent, stayed patient, stayed…

Ya’ll get an invite to the MFING WEDDDINGGGG!!!* 

And just when you thought I’d gone soft…I have, BUT my savagery remains. The yaars who saw that coming, you know me best, and yet, haven’t seen most of me that still hibernates. For 25 years and more years to come, I wait for the beast to rise from slumber, and slowly she’s begun to awaken…watch out world! Prepare to awe in wonder as I will soon bulldoze through this universe with style and grace…

But I can’t thank all the yaars enough for giving me the maximum space to understand and confront sensitivity and pain and emotional expression and acceptance of melancholic sensations. Burdened with joy when around you all, the final goodbye we exchange, I’m gifted with pain. 

& while this all sounds quite cryptic, I feel most alive today.

With all the goodbyes I’ve encountered: shameless tears, hugs, kisses, cuddles, and various expressions of love, can I go another year constantly saying more sayonaras than hellos? 

So far, so good.

Someone once told me we have energetic cords that attach to people when first meeting. And the more interaction we share…the more intimacy exchanged

the more crying 

the more embraces 

the more binding of the lips

the more spoons we share 

the more sorrow we express

the more messages we send

& wifi passwords we exchange 

the bond intensifies and grows stronger.

To all the years I’ve inadvertently attached myself to, whether weak or strong, negative or positive, I feel every one of you, no matter how much time has lapsed or distance that has been created. 

& yaar, life’s a damn wild ride. Thank you for being a character in my fictional story I call Reality. 

*There is no wedding…there will never be a wedding. But cheers!