Because. 

Because of Dan Andrews.

Because I blame COVID-19.

Because I’m wildly lost and found.

Because toxicity feels far too familiar and 

because being alone feels uncomfortable & unfamiliar.

Because the heart always wants what the heart shouldn’t have.

Because on the modern Day of Love, shouldn’t that emotion feel easier to perform?

Because ‘love’ is clinging to the good times that should outweigh or even cancel out the bad?

Because my muscle of self control has atrophied to the point of no return and 

because I found myself loving out of comfort rather than deciphering what is the real Love.

Because in the past year, I’ve cycled through pain and joy and suffering on a strict schedule

because I’ve loved someone and neglected to also love myself in the process. Clinging to the

“because;” loosing sight of the Truth happens far more often than you’d expect, severely misinterpreted with realities outside of yourself disguised as your own belief system. 

Because at the end of the day, I always choose risk rather than vulnerability failing to see how the two go hand in hand. A paradox of pain and beauty, selfishness and sacrifice, lust and Love. 

Because I hoped for Cupid’s bow to knock off the rose colored glasses we [I] wore and 

because I hoped the world would still be tinted softly with pink without filter or frames.

Because I believe in good days and envision great peace with him and myself. 

Because I knew that no matter what happened on this day, I’ll still know Love

because I am loving him by learning how to love me too. Love is understanding how to let go.

Because Valentine’s Day is just February 14 said in a different way.

Because the sooner I face reality, the sooner peace comes.

Because lying to myself harms the entire cycle and 

because at the end of the day, it all pans out and

because truth always prevails. 

But fear and isolation and

everything in between is the 

Because. Just

because.